Myra’s Story
Myra shared such an amazing story of hope:
“A peace fell over me I never knew, as I stood inside that Sunday School room, listening to the children sing “Jesus Loves Me.” My father had just dropped me off at a random church, then went to the VFW to drink. Who would have thought that this would be the beginning of my faith journey? I had no idea who the Jesus was they sang about. I had no idea what it meant to have Jesus in my heart. But as the class preceded, I felt a normalcy. It felt “right.” It felt like this is how life should feel, l filled with joy, laughter, happiness. And so that day, at the age of 5, I asked Jesus into my heart, without knowing what that meant. Without an understanding who Jesus was. And from the moment I “asked Jesus in my heart”, I felt different. I felt a presence that was with me, a calming, loving presence. I had no idea what it was, but I knew someone, or something was with me. And I needed that presence. My father’s alcoholism infected our family. And the years of sexual molestation and emotional abuse he preyed upon me, diminished my self-esteem and severed my soul.
A friend invited me to Vacation Bible School when I was 11 years old. The theme was “This Is My Father’s World”. I cried and cried through singing the song and all of the stories they told. I was so confused. I thought, if this God is so powerful, kind, and loving, why did he allow my very own father to hurt me so deeply. I attended that church for a while but sat in silence never letting anyone know my secret of abuse. I never came to an understanding of who God was.
When I left home at the age of 17, I was a broken young woman. I had no self-esteem or self-worth. But for the first time in my life I felt free, free of the abuse, free of the condemnation and free of my father. Within a couple of years I found myself pregnant and the father did not want a child. I was scared, I was alone, and I felt emotionally incapable to care for a child. I was still dealing with the effects of my abuse. I made the decision to have an abortion. Little did I know when I walked out of the abortion clinic I not only had the death of my child, but my own emotional death embedded in my heart, soul, and mind. Within 24 hours of leaving the abortion clinic I suffered complications. I hemorrhaged for hours and the abortion clinic would not help me. They told me they only “performed” abortions. I drove myself to the closest ER and I was admitted to the hospital for a D&C. I came through the surgery, and physically I was okay. However, after my abortion my life spiraled out of control. I did not realize it at the time, but I was grieving my aborted child through alcohol, drugs, and self-destruction.
I reached a point in my life I began to change. I stopped using drugs and alcohol. Deep within me I was still in turmoil, but slowly I was beginning to be honest with myself and admitted I wanted my life to be better. During this time, I became pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Three months after she was born, I was pregnant again. I felt I could not bring another child into the already dysfunctional life I had with the father of my daughter, the man I was pregnant with. Out of desperation of not being able to handle life with another child, I had another abortion and then went on with my life. I focused on raising my daughter and never thought about the abortions, I felt I did what I needed to do and moved on, not dwelling on the past.
There were times when people came into my life that talked about God, His son Jesus and I’d listen. However, I was still confused why He allowed the abuse in my life. And deep within I did not feel good enough. How could someone with my past be part of a church, be someone God could love? I had done too much; I had endured too much. Through my healing journey and as I slowly began to trust, God became an important part of my life. I found healing, I found forgiveness, I was able to accept the grace and mercy through the salvation of Jesus. The Jesus I first heard about in the Sunday School room when I was five. I had travelled far from that Sunday School room, but God didn’t. His presence was always with me, even when I didn’t understand His love, even when I sinned against Him and even when I couldn’t love myself. God has used my past to serve Him; working in a pregnancy care center upholding the sanctity of life, sharing my testimony, reaching women who have been abused, reaching women and men who have had abortions and helping them find healing.
The Promise FM is so instrumental in my daily walk with God. The feeling of family, their mission to carry God’s Word in music, scripture, and prayer. It is through this ministry “God speaks to me everywhere. “ And I give praise and glory God has given me the future I had HOPED for so very long ago."
Let us know if you would like to get in touch with Myra about a past hurt you’re working through:
